This week North Korea released 310 new slogans that will be spread around the country to ‘inspire’ its people. They show a preoccupation with food and progress, two things the regime has failed to provide for its people. Just for something different, I’ve been looking through the slogans to find the funniest and most bizarre examples. The translated list of all 310 can be found at the BBC.
Long live the great Kimilsungism-Kimjongilism! – As political ideologies go, this isn’t quite as catchy (or pronounceable) as ‘Stalinism’ or ‘Marxism’.
Let us turn the whole country into a socialist fairyland by the joint operation of the army and people! – Fairyland can be found just north of Candyland.
Even though one may have 99 per cent of demerits and only one per cent of merit or conscience, boldly trust him and lead him to start with a clean slate! – I guess the thousands of North Koreans stuck in labour camps didn’t have that one percent…
More stylish school uniforms and quality school things for our dear children! – Their uniforms already look like this, so to be honest I don’t see much room for improvement.
Coal-miners! – Wait, that’s just a noun.
Builders! – Seriously, someone lost interest at this point.
Let the cosmos flowers bloom all along the roads and railways! – I was going to make a joke about how hippie ‘cosmos flowers’ sounds, but turns out they exist. Well played, North Korea…
Overcome thoroughly the manner of working like extinguishing fire after it has broken out, like a flash in the pan and like conducting a shock campaign! – I…I’m really not sure what this means.
Journalists and other media persons, and creators and artistes! – More nouns. Also, ‘other media persons’? That’s a severe lack of creativity on someone’s part.
Let us make the whole country resound louder with the song We Are the Happiest in the World. – I think this is a North Korean cover of Pharrell’s ‘Happy’.
In reality though, North Korea is the most abusive and totalitarian regime on the planet. To get a glimpse of what life is like for the North Koreans who have to live with these slogans, have a look at these two posts from last year.